Everything Is Miscellaneous!

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How SaaS works is that instead of relying on your own hardware for the application to work, you buy server space and bandwidth from a provider and use it for your own purposes. This works out well since your existing infrastructure can rapidly work with the application and there are no implementation costs involved. Another attractive feature is the ability to pay for only the space and bandwidth you use. There is no need to even purchase MS Project Server 2007 and you can get MS Project web access from anywhere through an internet connection.

After some downtime, Bash.org is back. Surprising that such a popular service even had downtime… they could have put up a few ads to cover hosting costs.

Anyway, now that it’s back:

#23396

<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut[AFK]> INSULT
<Eurakarte> RETORT
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

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The focus is on you and what you want. It’s all about providing you with unparalleled service to make you feel special. The Hedonism SuperClub resorts offer all this at great prices tailored to suit value conscious vacationers who are on the lookout for great discount vacation packages. Located in prime vacation areas throughout the world like Jamaica and the Bahamas. SuperClubs also offer destination weddings for that unforgettable one of a kind experience. The honeymoon all inclusive resort is an added bonus.

The SuperClubs site has a handy tool on the left side of the page to plan your vacation, determine costs and see what your options are. So go check it out and find a real vacation!

Well that was obvious.
?
Guy in a cubicle a couple feet away from me stands up and asks aloud if anyone has a Starcraft CD Key.
Heh.
I’m guessing he got a good talking to by your manager?
The floor supervisor told him where to download a no-cd crack.
Can I fax you my resume?

Whoa.

<+kritical> christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..
<+Christin1> how do i do that

Brilliant.

I think we need to work on our communication.. one guy is talking crap, one just goes “lol” and the other one doesn’t understand what’s going on
lol
what?

Precisely.

can you help me install GTA3?
first, shut down all programs you aren’t using
* frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
…

Reminds me of some collegemates. /sigh (And they have engineering degrees now.)

Miraculous> does anyone know anything about routers?
Rukus+> the most important advice i can give you
Rukus+> do NOT rip it out of the wall when drunk and say you have defeated the matrix

Thanks, Neo.

I was going to put up some of the best bash.org quotes but the site seems to be down. How can a site so popular as Bash.org go down for lack of hosting?

So I leave you with it’s entry for Uncyclopedia:

A historical site, bash.org is one of the most important creations of the 21st century. Bash.org is the most complete chronicle of Internet-based communication, the preferred medium of the century. Created in August of 2001, bash.org hosts scholarly communications from IRC, AIM, and other forms of online communication submitted by computer users around the world. The site is like a wiki, except submissions can take months to appear. Not all submitted content is accepted, and if it’s genuinely funny, it’s even less likely to be accepted. Accept it.

Found an alternate site: QDB

<@cripwalker> my girlfriend is so fucking cool.
<@cripwalker> we were arguing in IM last night about techtv being lame since g4 took over.
<@cripwalker> she thinks its better now that theres more “pretty” people on it.
<@cripwalker> that filter girl is, like, her idol.
<@cripwalker> anyway, i wasn’t giving up. i really believe that channel to be a lost cause, now.
<@cripwalker> so she says to me “i’m gonna come over there and beat some sense in to you”
<@cripwalker> then she logs out.
<@cripwalker> about 10 minutes later, she pulls up in her car, runs into the house, walks in like she owns the damned place, and punches me hard as hell in the arm. no hello, or nothing.
<@cripwalker> then she leaves. didn’t even say goodbye. i was totally speechless.
<@cripwalker> sure enough, 10 minutes later she logs back on.
<@cripwalker> she says “i knew you’d see things my way.”
<@cripwalker> then she asks if she can come over to watch tv…
<@cripwalker> i’m sooo gonna marry her!

Okay…

7. Cycle Test
SVCEiite: Periodic report cards after CAT
Sathyabama: How about having 3 arrears in these CAT’s and bring your
parents for that. How about having to pay an amount equivalent to the
exam fee as fine?

Velammalian’s lament: How about failing in cycle test&model exam, but
scoring centum in university exam, and STILL having to pay failed
fine in the NEXT semester? How’s that, huh? Huh?

8. Walkman
SVCEiite: No walkman in coll and bus
Satyabhamiite: This is probably closest you are to Sathyabama

Velammalian’s wrath: DAI DAI VAYATHERICHALE KELAPPAADHEENGADAA!!
Kazhuva kooda thanni illaadha oorule kulikka thanni kettanaam
oruthan!!!

9. Other college OD
SVCEiite: If u wanna go to other college culturals no O.D
Satyabhamiite: We are probably better in this area

Velammalian’s tears: Not only is OD not sanctioned, but one has to
additionally listen to Principoll’s enlightening discourse on how
other college culture will not match Velammal culture(!!) Non-
academic cultural posters will go directly from Princi room to
dustbin. Only students with aggregate more than 95% in all semesters
and not less than 100% attendance can go to seminars and paper
presentations. That way he will be marked absent even for OD and
fined for absenteeism.

These are only replies to comments by friends of SVCE and Satyabhama.
To talk about the infinite other atrocities in VEC will require me
typing at 100 w.p.m continuously for the rest of my life. And my
fingers are aching already. So I’ll stop here. You go back and get
ready to become a foocher injineer and a winner. Becos winners…
they do not do the things differently, they do things differently

3. Absenteeism
SVCEiite: If u absent for all theory class HOD is empowered to fine
100 Rs
Satyabhamiite: Absent, utter this word to a Sathyabama guy and he
will give you the same reaction that a grad student will give you
when you say “JOBS”

Velammalian’s ordeal: If you “punk” a class, then you are marked
absent for half a day. Like that like that it will add to 3 days
leave amounting to 500 rubees fine. Also getting leave letter
sanction involves great deeds of physical stamina like running to
class teacher cabin for sign, then to HOD for sign, waiting there
endlessly as he/she finishes “more important priorities”, then to
administrative bloc which is 1/2 kilometre away, them rejecting it,
going to Principoll, Sairman etc and explaining to them that letter
is genuine, MC is from a “real doctor”, that father sigature was put
by father only and not by me, and THEN submitting to office, and
running back to class teacher and informing them, and finally back to
class, by the time which more than half a day is over, and you are
marked absent for those periods again. Thus the cyclic process
continues till you drop to your knees in despair and
squeal, “Please - I will pay the fine” Words that are music to the
Sairman’s ears!

4. Roaming Charges
SVCEiite: No gossiping around mandapam and no walking over lawns.
Satyabhamiite: Jeppiar had a lot of foresight when it comes to this.
No auditoriums, no mandapams, no trees

Velammalian’s plight: If you are seen moving in “croops”, or spotted
within 10 feet vicinity of opposite sex, the SPY in that area
jurisdiction will swoop down on you like an eagle, pick you up, and
ruthlessly drop you at the feet of the Sairman, and then telegram
will go to your house, mother will have heart attack seeing telegram
thinking some distant relative died, and parents will be called to be
warned about their ward’s “misdemeanour” and “acts leading to
character assasination”

5. Canteen
SVCEiite: Canteen Rates.. Meals: 20, Puff=6, Tea=3,Coffee= 6, Vadai =
5, Vegetable Pulav = 15, Curd Rice = 12
Satyabhamiite: No canteen, the Jeppiaar the provide the food

Velammalian’s loose motion: When you buy cellphone or some other
product, there will always be hidden charges in it. Like that in VEC
also. Canteen rates are pretty much same as in SVCE, but the canteen
is strategically positioned about 1/2 kilometre away from classrooms
(esp those on third floor!) which is 5 minutes walk on empty stomach
and 7 minutes on full stomach. And the time given for the break is 10
minutes! So that way a lady constable is placed to arrest
students “arriving late to class” after break. According to Velammal
rule book, students are expected to be in their classrooms atleast 2
minutes before class commences. So dig this:
Break Duration = 10 minutes
Duration of previous hour class extending into break = 3 minutes
Time to be back in class: 2 minutes before
Time remaining = 10 - 3 - 2 = 5 minutes

And within this time, you have to fit in…….
Travel time to canteen = 5 minutes
Return time = 7 minutes
So what about eating time, latrine time etc?

So even if VEC student wants to go to “urgent bathroom” he must keep
an empty bottle with him/her always.

6. Arrears
SVCEiite: Bring parents if u have more than 3 arrears
Satyabhamiite: Bring parents if you have more than 3 hairs on your
face

Velammalian: Bring parents if you HAVE PARENTS!!!

Velammalians response:

So here’s a true blue Velammalian’s responses (actually it should
be “truly black and blue”) to lucky fellow “foocher ingineers” in
SVCE and Satyabhama.
Let us deal the point with point (pardon me if the Principoll
influence is showing in my’s English)

1. The Equation Game
SVCEiite says: SVCE = (Sathyabama) x (Sathyabama)
Satyabamiite says:SVCE = ( Sathyabama(n-1)*n + e^ eta + 365*24)^(1/7)

Velamalian learns only one equation: Fine theta = (Cos theta)
^infinity, even when Sin theta is small.
Which means: Even if the sin/mistake committed is very small, lots of
cos/money will be collected as fine amount. This is the lesson that
is mercilessly thrashed into the heads of VEC students for four
years.

2. College Bus
SVCEiite says: U r not supposed to go to Bus stop before 4.10 or else
100 Rs fine
Satyabamiite: You are not supposed to come to the bus stop before
7:00 a.m, if you violate the rule and you are a guy you walk all the
way to the college.

Velamalian’s cry: Forget picha kaas like 100 rubees fine etc…VEC
always believes in squeezing maximum out of the students pants (oops,
no double meaning, I meant money in the wallet in the pant). Has
anyone heard of 10,000 rubees annual bus fees anywhere else? The
cost of 4 years bus fees in VEC will thus be about 40-45,000 for
which amount one can buy a new bike itself, and not worry about
stupid bus rules. Rules like don’t talk, don’t sing, don’t dance,
don’t-move-your-head-even-one-centimetre-towards-girls-direction etc
etc. Even here, the rules were established because Sairman saw a lot
of bus-stop & inside-bus-love-developing cinemas when he was young,
and it affected him “mendally”.